01 · Matchmaker
Tell us what sets you on fire
Choose your new city, drag the sliders to show what matters to you, and we'll rank every club by fit. Or tap a personality preset.
Also on your radar
Where the fire burns
Dots glow brighter the better the fit for you. Hover or tap a dot.
02 · Performance
Who actually wins?
Last season's final table, five years of history and the full trophy cabinet. The Power index boils recent form down to one 0–100 number, so newly promoted clubs start near the bottom.
Power index
The trophy cabinet
Major honours, all time. Spoiler: it's not an even fight.
The full table
Click a column to sort. The trend line shows the last five league finishes; dots below the pink rule were in a lower division.
03 · Random attitudes
Stats say who wins. Attitude says who you'll be drinking with.
Every club rated 0–10 on nine very serious metrics. These are affectionate, subjective and 100% vibes-based. Click a column to sort; click a club to open its file.
Attitude fingerprint: head to head
Put two clubs side by side.
The random attitude generator
Hit the button for a random fact, quirk or piece of fan folklore.
04 · Ticket prices
What does the fire cost?
Cheapest adult tickets for a normal league game against the price of the big one (Clásico, derby or a visit from Madrid or Barça), season tickets, and how hard it is for a newcomer to get in at all. Prices are approximate. Always check the club's official site.
Beer check: Do your drinking in the bars outside, like everyone else.
Matchday: cheapest seat vs big game
Adult general sale, € per match, sorted by cheapest.
Price vs power
Cheapest normal-game ticket (€) against Power index. Top-left is where the bargains live. Hollow dots are estimated prices.
Season tickets and how to get in
Cheapest adult season ticket (abono) and how open it is to newcomers.
05 · Club files
Meet all 20 suitors
Each file has the stats, prices and attitude, plus a phrase to shout and a tip for newcomers.